Archive for November, 2008

Five Minute Find A Man Monday’s – How To Undo The Damage Of Having The Conversation




So for this five minute find a man monday's I'm going to be answering a question one of my readers asked me.

The question was

"How do you recover from having the conversation with your man?"

Here is my response ...

Hi Jill(fake name),

This is a great question and I'm sure a lot of my readers are going to benefits from it.

Well the first thing that I would do is back off and stop putting any more pressure on him. He may already be a little freaked out by the whole thing but you really have to determine this by his actions.

Is he calling you less? Is he not as available as much as he used to be? Is he acting weird around you? Or are things pretty much the same?

See the thing is, the reason why I'm so adamant about the NOT having the conversation is because I have been there myself.

The sad part is, that I didn't even realize that I had the conversation with him, until like months and months after I stopped talking to him, as things didn't work out.

Now the reason why you want to have a conversation with him is because your not sure how he feels about you ... right.

And what I have learnt from my experience, is ... if you are not that sure about how he feels about you ... then its best to assume that he is "just not that into you!".

In fact that is one of the best lines I have heard yet. A guy actually wrote a booked called "He's, just not that into you".

But what I learnt from my own experiences and from reading a couple of books on this, is that ... the only reason why we would HAVE that conversation with this guy, is because we already know the answer in our heart, but our head wants to fight it.

I already knew this guy was emotionally unavailable, but i didn't want to believe it. My intuition was screaming at me, just telling me that he just wasn't ready yet.

But my head was like .. well .. why not ... everything seems fine on the surface. Why shouldn't he be into me.

But you know what? Not every guy is right for you. Nor is every situation is the right timing for you either.

Maybe this guy is the right guy for you and the timing just sucks.

But you have to give them space to leave if they wish, so they can choose to come back.

So in answer to your question, what is the best way to recover from having the conversation?

Back off. Date other people. Fill your life up again. Don't rely on him to make you happy. Don't have your happiness based on whether or not he wants to be exclusive with you or not. Enjoy the fact that you don't know exactly where this relationship is going. Live in the present. If you go out with him, just "be" there. Don't be thinking about the next date. Don't be thinking about tasks you need to do when you get home. Enjoy that time and space you have with him.

I know this is hard to do. But the more detached from the outcome you are with this guy, the less you care about where this is heading, then the more desirable you will be.

Its not about playing hard to get and being a challenge.

It IS about being present, enjoying your own life, making yourself happy first and foremost.

When you take responsibility for your own happiness, then he will no longer feel the pressure and the obligation to take care of that part and he can relax and take control of where the relationship is heading again.

Plus we all love it when men are the ones doing the chasing, leading the relationship. SO let him have that back.

Either way whatever the outcome

Number One he resumes the relationship and continues dating

OR

Number Two he freaks out and you never speak to him again

You are better off because you know what to do for next time.

Take care and keep us updated.

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Nov 30, 2008 | 0 comments | View Post

Who Says You Cant Have Your Cake And Eat It Too?


You can have your cake and eat it too!

I'm going to obliterate one of the common fallacies many men and women have out there.

Recently I just finished watching the movie “Click” and “The Family Man”.

yes yes I know they are so "not this year" but they were really good movies.

Now the one thing that I noticed as a reoccurring theme in these movies was that the main characters both male, had to make the choice between having a successful career or having a successful family life.

Isn’t this an issue that many of us have to face in modern times?

Should we go after the money? Or should we go after the family life?

For women this is especially a big issue.

Many women today are choosing to put their careers in front of their family life. Getting married later, choosing to have kids once they are financially independent, some opting not to have kids at all.

Many would also associate alpha females as those that are very dominant and driven in the "earning capacity" sector.

So here is where I'm going to talk about what I believe to be the conspiracy.

And do want to know what that is?

Its something that was drilled into us by our parents and it was driven into them my the schools, by the government and by society.

Here it is ….

That a choice between making money and having a quality family life are things mutually exclusive of eachother.

You can't be the CEO of a company and spend lots of time with your kids.

You can't get married now, your career will suffer.

Well I'm here to say that its all a load of BS.

Who said that you can't have your cake and eat it too.

Heck that don't even make sense!

Why would you have a cake and NOT EAT IT?!

Are we all really that brainwashed?

It is my believe you can have an absolutely amazing career and have an incredible relationship, marriage, family life .. whatever.

Because at the end of the day its about priorities and time management. That’s what it really comes down too.

You know why I know its possible? Because I’m surrounded by people who are living this "so call unattainable dream".

These are internet marketers, multi-millionaires, people who travel the world with their family who have AMAZING time freedom.

Not only do they have the time, but they have the peace of mind to enjoy good quality time with their kids or their loved ones.

They are incredibly laid back, generous ... and god forbid, HAPPY!

Now I’m not saying that you have to be an internet marketer to enjoy this lifestyle or to attain the dream.

The avenue and vehicle you choose is not even relevant here.

But what I'm saying is that you always have a choice.

You have a choice in your actions and you have a choice in what you believe is possible for you.

I make sure to surround myself with people who have immense belief in themselves, their dreams and respectively me and my dreams.

They support and inspire these visions that I hold for my life.

But here is the thing.

I choose them.

I could have also picked friends who treat me like absolute crap, who take advantage of me and who kill my spirit.

But I don’t. Because I know the power to choose is in my hands.

So next time when someone tells you that you can’t have your cake and eat it too.

I want you to seriously think about whether or not that is true.

Then I want you to buy a cake .. and eat it too. Right in front of them.

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Nov 29, 2008 | 0 comments | View Post

Angelina Jolie Manipulates Press?


According to the New York Times, Angelina Jolie makes deals with paparazzi and entertainment news magazines to portray her and her family in a positive light at all times, otherwise, she will not give them the time of day.

Apparently, Angelina Jolie's $14 million deal with People magazine stipulated that the magazine would never call Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Brangelina and that they would always talk about her family in a glowing and beautiful way.

Now, do you believe the New York Times? Or is it possible that they need to sell papers and they know that Angelina Jolie is a big seller these days? As well, is it possible that she refused to do an interview with them, which may have perhaps pissed them off and led to this story? Or is it possible that Angelina Jolie is a master manipulator and has managed to put herself in this positive light and the rest of us are just too in love with her to see it?

You decide what Angelina Jolie is up to.

By Ladythrills

Nov 25, 2008 | 0 comments | View Post

Sarah Palin Pardons Turkey Video


We've all established that Sarah Palin isn't the brightest bulb of the bunch via her myriad dumb remarks regarding everything from seeing Russia from her house to thinking that Africa is a country.

But all that pales in comparison to watching Sarah Palin pardon a turkey in Alaska only to give an interview moments later to a backdrop of a man who's killing turkeys right behind her.

Sarah Palin is really oblivious to what's going on and doesn't realize that everyone is, in fact, laughing at her stupidity and ignorance. I wonder what Elisabeth Hasselbeck will say about this... probably something like, "It's not her fault... blah, blah, blah... Barack Obama would've sent Reverend Wright in his place and then distanced himself from the whole turkey situation."

Yeah, Sarah Palin was almost the Vice President of the US. Think about it.

By Ladythrills

Nov 25, 2008 | 0 comments | View Post

Celebrity Flaw of the Day – Karolina Kurkova Belly Button



I'll be the first to admit that Karolina Kurkova is one of the most beautiful women in the world. But it is a little unsettling to see Karolina Kurkova frolicking on the beach with her Victoria's Secret co-models and with no belly button to be seen.

Karolina Kurkova has no belly button, which begs the questions: What the hell happened to Karolina Kurkova's belly button? Did she have some kind of plastic surgery? Did some guy steal it and sell it on eBay?

I'm pretty sure guys don't care that Karolina Kurkova is missing her belly button, but women everywhere are scratching their heads in wonderment.

By Ladythrills

Nov 25, 2008 | 0 comments | View Post

Brad Pitt on Oprah

Brad Pitt was on Oprah on November 19, 2008, and I have to admit, it was one of the most interesting interviews I've seen since, well, since Jennifer Aniston was on last week.

Brad Pitt tells Oprah all about his 6 kids and how funny they are without even trying and Brad Pitt reveals to Oprah why Angelina Jolie is such a wonderful human being.

Brad Pitt has seen better days; it'd be awesome if he had removed that mustache and perhaps exfoliated, but Brad Pitt is still adored and considered crazy sexy, even if he is a dad of 6. Even Oprah has to admit it.

By Ladythrills

Nov 25, 2008 | 0 comments | View Post

Hugh Jackman is the Sexiest Man Alive


Well, People magazine has named its Sexiest Man Alive for 2008 and there's no surprise that Hugh Jackman got the award. Hugh Jackman looks hotter at 40 than most men look at 20.

Hugh Jackman has been frolicking around the beach shirtless of late, and the ladies are loving it. Hugh Jackman knows how to work that gorgeous body of his and the ladies are devouring every moment of it.

Of course, Hugh Jackman is a husband and a father, but that doesn't stop us ladies from fantasizing about him when we can.

By Ladythrills

Nov 25, 2008 | 0 comments | View Post

Angelina Jolie Cries During Changeling Press Interview

Link
During a London press interview for Changeling, Angelina Jolie was discussing where her inspiration for the character came from and Angelina Jolie began crying when she revealed that her mother was the inspiration.

Upset that she had such a reaction, Angelina Jolie said "oh f*ck" and then went on to reveal what a wonderful person her mother was and how she admired the fact that she was so soft and tender.

It really is touching to see Angelina Jolie in such a vulnerable state considering we all consider her such a tough ass. Not only is she beautiful on the outside, but Angelina Jolie obviously has a great beauty within.

By Ladythrills

Nov 25, 2008 | 0 comments | View Post

Robert Pattinson at the Twilight Premiere


Robert Pattinson made his way to the premiere of his first starring role as a vampire in Twilight last night and you know that the girls and women were going crazy for him.

Based on the popular novels by Stephenie Meyer, Robert Pattinson stars as a vampire in a Romeo and Juliet like story of love. Robert Pattinson has become hugely popular of late, so popular that no one even saw it coming.

Either way, Robert Pattinson knows how to play the camera - that's for sure.



By Ladythrills

Nov 25, 2008 | 0 comments | View Post

Kate Hudson and A-Rod Dating?


Kate Hudson might find herself getting bitch slapped by Madonna in the coming days because word has it that Kate Hudson is honing in on A-Rod, Madonna's man.

Sources say that Kate Hudson and A-Rod were getting really cozy over the weekend in Miami while watching Mariah Carey belt out a couple of songs. Kate Hudson and A-Rod were hugging, tugging and perhaps even fugging at a private table and never left each other's side.

When Madonna gets wind of this, you know she's gonna be pissed as hell and might even pull one of her ass-kicking yoga moves on her. This is going to get messy you know, so you might want to keep an eye on Kate Hudson and A-Rod because they're both going to get their asses beat.

By Ladythrills

Nov 25, 2008 | 0 comments | View Post
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