Archive for January, 2009
Sexual sanctuary
The church is like a zoo.
The choir sounds like a group of howling hienas, the off-key woman who sits in the front row is like a squeaking parrot who just won’t shut up, the priest is like the head lion and the little alter boy his afternoon meat.
So if going to church is like watching the Discovery channel, why not emulate what’s being shown on the media? I mean, intercourse is imperative to the survival of the animal kingdom, as is essential to the survival of humankind. And God knows we don’t want our species to go extinct before His planned Apocalypse.
The good ole Bible says premarital sex is bad and all that yackety-yack, but it doesn’t particularly condone sex in public. So sex on the front pew on a Sunday night? I might go to hell for this, but at least it’s one more checked off my “to do before I die” list. Amen.
Save a horse, ride a cowboy
It’s 2 a.m. on a Friday night, and I’m pissed.
I had scored myself dinner and drinks with a cute cowboy, and afterward had invited him over to my place. I stripped him down to his cowboy boots the moment he walked through my door, getting ready for a buck-wild night.
But half an hour later, he’s still limp.
Granted, he’s good with his fingers and he’s got tongue skills. But no matter how good his pregame show is, if he can’t bring the bull in the ring, he can’t ride.
Maybe you should have gone easy on the whiskey, I think to myself as I hand him his chaps. Because if you can’t get me off, I’ll be ignoring your texts and screening your calls, no matter how sweet or gentlemanly you may have been over dinner. A girl just wants a ride, and if ya can’t get ‘er done, then your eight seconds is up. Yee-haw.
Just Go With It…
Revelations Part Two
I have had loads and loads of messages and questions regarding my recent post about my friends revelations . . . The most emails I’ve had following an entry for ages. (Perhaps I should write less about my own experiences and more about other things!!)
Just to completely and generally answer the most recurring themes/comments and questions . . .
1) I have known her since school days and she has always been the most sensible and “stable” of all of my longstanding-friends. There is absolutely no question of me having to think for even a moment about supporting her in whatever she asked of me.
2) Her husband has always seemed a lovely person and both J and I have always gotten along with him perfectly well. He doesn’t know anything, or suspect anything, about it. He is “a wonderful father” but, apparently, has never been particularly adventurous “in bed” and that she never really knew, until now, about “being satisfied”.
3) I have spoken with her (on the phone) several times in the past two weeks since our dinner. She has told me that seeing her new man has left her feeling deeply guilty afterwards, but that she “can’t help herself” and that, in fact, it has made her realise how much she still loves her husband. She says she has no intention of leaving her husband and children, and has told [her new man] this. She says she is unsure about his [her new man] intentions, but she can’t stop wanting to see him.
5) No I haven’t told her about “me”. I WAS going to, but J said I shouldn’t tell her in case things “go wrong there and we get caught-up in other peoples dirty-washing”. BUT anyway, in the conversations I’ve had with her I’ve hardly been able to get a word-in . . . she has been so excited and telling me about how she feels like a teenager in her first real romance. I made the point of telling her it was hardly a “romance”, but I know how she feels about the flattery and excitement of suddenly finding “after all these years that someone else actually fancies me!”
6) I also know how she feels about the “release” of just being able to tell someone else . . . but, sorry to disappoint, I won’t be sharing anymore of her revelations here (and she doesn’t tell me any “details” anyway, and even though I am curious (of course!!), I haven’t asked).
I suppose the point of my mentioning her revelations at all, is just that (apart from the sheer surprise of it coming from her), it just further confirms my own feelings that it is a perfectly natural . . . and common . . . feeling / emotion to desire that sense of longing for, and in more cases than a lot of people realise, to actually occasionally experience the sexual attentions of a “different” partner.
End of subject !!
Best wishes - Edith
Mariani Bridi da Costa Amputated

I had never heard of Mariana Bridi da Costa before today, but I will never forget her after hearing this. Mariana Bridi da Costa is a gorgeous Brazilian model who was diagnosed with a killer urinary infection and ended up losing her feet and hands because they had to be amputated.
If that weren't terrible enough, doctors initially misdiagnosed her with kidney stones and sent her on her way, only to discover a few days later what the problem really was. On top of all this, Mariana Bridi da Costa has a rare blood type and needs blood desperately in order to live.
Currently, Mariana Bridi da Costa is on a ventilation machine in a hospital in Serra, in the southeastern state of Espirito Santo. Our thoughts and prayers are with her.
Kevin Federline on Dancing with the Stars


Well now it's official; Dancing With the Stars is the new fat farm for quasi-celebrities. Word has it that roly-poly Kevin Federline wants to do the prime time dance show now that he's all fat and rich and stuff.
Kevin Federline, who was once a high in-demand backup dancer is now living a little too large with all the money he got in the Britney Spears settlement. So large, in fact, that he's letting his once super fit physique turn circular.
So what do you think? Would you root for Kevin Federline if he became a dancer on Dancing with the Stars or do you think he'd get outed from the get-go?
Handbag of the Day – Victoria Beckham Birkin Bag

Victoria Beckham is many things and a fashionista is one of them. Considering gorgeous husband David Beckham has an incredibly difficult time finding gifts for Victoria Beckham because she has everything she could ever want, you could imagine his delight at finding this Birkin bag for his wife.
How much is this 3-carat diamond studded Himalayan bag? A cool $104,000! And there are only 3 like it in the world. Imagine how happy this must make Victoria Beckham... now her Spice Girls peers must be burning. They probably can't even afford it.
What do you think of the bag? Would you ever pay that much for a handbag?
Brad Pitt’s Zipper was Open at Movie Premiere


Brad Pitt was at one of the many premieres of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and his fly was open on the red carpet. I know... how could the most perfect of perfect men end up making such a freakin' monumental mistake like having his fly open on the red carpet. What is the world coming to? Is this the end? Methinks yes it is.
If that weren't terrible enough, people are whispering that Brad Pitt's zipper may have been open because he's turning into a raging alcoholic as he's been seen about town holding open beer bottles while getting into cars and carrying bottles of wine into limos.
Oh me oh my, what will we do if Brad Pitt turns into a crazy alkie and he loses his 400 kids? What will become of the rest of us? Ah, I'm sure we'll get over it.
Top 10 George Bush Moments

David Letterman is a star, no doubt, and he has never made a secret about how he feels about George W. Bush, although it took the rest of the country a little while to follow. Now, he's able to laugh about it; I guess we all can, because, let's face it, the guy was a dunce.
So David Letterman put together a Top 10 List of favorite George W. Bush moments, and man are they priceless. Enjoy.

















