I am Now Pronounced “Me, Myself and I”

Posted by Miss Unconventional, Latina Fatale on May 27, 2009 · Leave a Comment 


I have decided to take a mini-break from my previously planned "raising feminist children" mini-series in order to celebrate the biggest, baddest bitch that I've ever known. Me!! 

Why am I excited about myself, you ask? Well, frankly, because I thumbed my nose at society and married myself this weekend. Let me tell you all about it and how my idea got started:

Years ago I remember watching a Sex in the City episode when Carrie went to a baby shower (?). When she entered her friends house, she had to take off her very expensive shoes and leave them by the door. At the end of the party her shoes were missing and her friend gave her an ugly pair of shoes to wear. 

Weeks passed and the shoes were nowhere to be found. Her friend didn't even seem to be concerned about it one bit. One day, Carrie went to her friend's house to inquire about the shoes and her friend offered to pay for the shoes. When her friend found out that the shoes cost approximately $400 dollars, her friend told her that she would not pay for such an extravagant waste of money. "I'm a mother now and it's irresponsible to pay that much for shoes," the bitch said.

Carrie went home and thought long and hard about all of the gifts that she had given her friend all the years-the bridal shower, the wedding gift, the babyshowers, blablabla. She asked herself, "What about those of us who never get married? We just don't count in anyone else's eyes. Besides graduating from college, when do we ever have the chance to be celebrated?"

Carrie went to the shoe store and registered herself for the very same shoes that she lost. She then called her friend and said that she was marrying herself and that her friend could buy her a gift at a particular shoe store. When the friend arrived at the store, she paid for Carrie's "wedding gift", which just so happened to be the $400 dollar pair of shoes.

Ever since I saw that show I thought, "Damn right. What about those of us who don't ever want to be married?? What type of day do we get to have all of our friends show up and celebrate?" It was then and there that I decided to marry myself. This was almost 6 years ago.

Six years have passed and my friends and I have always jokingly planned my wedding. It was not until last week when a few of my friends flew in from out of the country and challenged me to pull off the wedding while we were all in town. Well, I am one competitive bitch and I don't take challenges lightly. So, we planned a wedding. I wasn't going to say anything about it online because I like to keep some things private, but I just couldn't control my excitement so I spilled the beans. 

Saturday all of my non-bridesmaids assembled in their sexy black dresses. A few of my male friends, and my long-term boyfriend, were also non-bridesgrooms. I registered for gifts (mostly books...but of course). I walked myself down the aisle to the song "Independent Woman" by Beyonce (or whatever her old group was called). When I got to the front of the room, my professor gave a speech about how I would vow to love myself, always be independent, strive for continual self development, etc. I put on my Goddess tiara that my friends gave me for my birthday, instead of a ring because frankly I didn't have time to buy myself a ring.

Afterwards we had a fabulous dinner and reception. When the reception began, I burst into the room to the song "Brick House",  and I most definitely had cleavage to die for. I drank and partied and danced all night long. Sunday and Monday I took myself on a honeymoon (and I invited my boyfriend along).

Ha, what a fabulous experience. I also figure that this was my three-year-belated 30th birthday celebration, because on my 30th birthday I was sitting in a stupid ass quantitative methodology/statistics class and I was pretty much having a nervous breakdown over the PhD program. I figure I had to make up for lost time. 

It's been brought to my attention that it's a good thing that I did this so quickly because knowing just how fucked up the state of California is regarding marriage equality, it will probably be any day now that a proposition is put up on the ballot that some of us bad ass bitches can't have commitment ceremonies to ourselves. 

Sound bizarre to you? I hope so. That's what I strive for in life-to think outside of the box.

About the author: Miss Unconventional, Latina Fatale

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THE TOP 5 BROW SHAPES TO NOT DO

Posted by lipstickgrrll on May 26, 2009 · Leave a Comment 

Eyebrows are all the rage on the beauty front, whether in brow product must haves or in new services such as in threading. But the real story is in the shape and look of the brow.

Top NY-LA Eyebrow Specialist Elke Von Freudenberg of the Janet Ruffin Salon in NYC and creator of The Model Brow™ Service  at www.themodelbrow.com shares her advice on the top brow shapes that you may want to avoid the next time you pick up your tweezers.

1.THE ROUND EYEBROW
Most commonly called, “the happy eyebrow”, it borders on an almost 1/2 circle shape. This happens when the tweezer keeps trying to create more of an arch, but is not sure where the arch is. So they keep tweezing from underneath the eyebrow in the wrong place, creating a 1/2 circle. The round eyebrow has replaced the ‘tadpole’ eyebrow (thick in front, which goes to an immediate thin arch and end of the brow)  as the current most seen brow mishap.

FIX: Create your arch only at the outside corner of your iris. Then tweeze a straight line from the beginning of the brow to the arch, to create a stronger, more dramatic arch to the brow without having to tweeze so much.

2. THE ARCH IN THE WRONG PLACE
Or, in most cases, the arch is too far outside the eye. This happens when the arch is created by a pencil lining up to the side of the nose to the outside iris of the eye. What happens is that the eyes actually end up looking crossed eyed (especially in photos) and too close together. Having an arch placed too far out creates the illusion that the eye is actually closer to the nose than it really is.  So sadly, this does not create a ‘wide’ eyed appearance as most think it does. Instead, you get the actual opposite, eyes that look far too close together.

FIX: To move the arch closer to the inner corner of the eye, pull 2/3 hairs at the arch, going towards the nose to move the arch in.

3. THE STRAIGHT EYEBROW
A straight eyebrow is when the arch of the eyebrow either never existed which is rare, or too much brow was taken off the top of the arch of the eyebrow, which flattens the arch and creates a straight line to the eyebrow.

FIX: Avoid tweezing any hairs above the brows that are actually touching the eyebrow. This will keep the brow shape, and keep the area above the brows clean looking without touching and flattening the arch.

4.USING STENCILS TO CREATE YOUR BROW SHAPE.
You really can’t do a cookie cutter approach to shaping eyebrows. Why? Because everyone’s bone structure and eye shape is different, and your eyebrow shape really has to do with the bone that’s underneath the brow. That determines the eyebrow look and shape that are uniquely yours.

FIX: Rely on stencils to create a perfect eyebrow look with shadows and pencils, but do not use it as a guide to tweezing.

5. TOO CUT EYEBROWS
The super cut eyebrow looks good for one day and then as it grows in, looks horrible. What happens next? You cut them again only to repeat the vicious cycle. The super cut eyebrows are cut way too short and trimmed the wrong way.

FIX: To trim very long brow hairs, brush brows up and cut to 1/4” above the brow line. Then brush into the eyebrow to see where the brow falls.  By keeping the length, you also avoid the cut off hairs that can create a too short eyebrow at the end of the brow.  Keep the length as much as you can.

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”Ageing Skin? How You Can Halt It”

Posted by senses... on May 26, 2009 · Leave a Comment 

WHY THE BUZZ ABOUT ATP?

 

Forget roller ball eye creams and hand held massage machines to aid in product penetration. If you’re concerned with ageing you need ATP – FACT.

 

ATP or Adrenosine Triphoshate is the principle factor in the transferring of energy in the body. Without ATP, your body would be unable to utilise any energy. ATP ensures that all aspects of cellular activity can take place. As the skin is the largest organ in the body huge amounts of ATP are necessary to allow it to thrive, regenerate and renew itself. ATP is created on demand, when needed by the body. It is literally required for everything that takes place in the body, from DNA replication and skin regeneration to muscle contraction and collagen synthesis.

 

ATP and Ageing

In terms of anti ageing ATP is at the top of the pile. Forget miracle claiming products, without ATP say hello to the signs of ageing and get used to them. By the time we reach 60 the amount of ATP, used (and therefore produced) by the body will have almost halved compared with when we were in our 20’s. So if you’re over 60 and complain of a lack of energy, well you couldn’t be more accurate. A lack of ATP means the body functions inefficiently and so too will your skin.

 

Maximising ATP

Your body doesn’t store ATP, it manufacturers it when needed. In order to maximise the production of ATP you first need to create the ideal environment in which to do so. Someone who exercises regularly, drinks 2 litres of water and eats a healthy balanced diet will be well on their way to creating the ideal environment in which ATP can be produced. Topically applied products can have a dramatic impact too. The key ingredients to encourage ATP synthesis are: Unichondrin ATP (ATP itself), Thiotaine, Mitostime, Palmitoyle Dipeptide-5, Palmitoyle Dipeptide-6. The first product to incorporate these ‘‘BUZZ’’ ingredients is the BT cocktail by Bio Therapeutic. This product launched late last year has already been voted best new anti-ageing product by Spa Magazine.

Using this product for 60 days can achieve amazing results ; Up to 80% reduction of pore size and number of visible pores, up to 70% reduction in deep lines and wrinkles, up to 41% reduction of fine lines, up to 40% improvement of elasticity.

 

Additional boost required?

The new Bt cocktail product can have incredible results when used alone, but combine it with a Microcurrent treatment and not only will you see all the benefits of increased ATP synthesis but you’ll also re-define the contours of your face and re-educate muscles by lifting – It really is a non-surgical facelift!

The Bio Ultimate Platinum Machine, developed by Bio Therapeutic utilizes Suzuki sequencing Microcurrent – which is the single most powerful tool to maximise ATP energy potential. The Bio Ultimate Platinum Machine has been proven to increase ATP production by as much as 500%. So following a course of these treatments you’ll have more than enough energy. Side benefits of this treatment are increases in collagen (more than 12% in 20 days) , increases in elastin (more than 48% in 20 days) and an increase in circulation (more than 39% in 20 days). So if you’re in desperate need of an anti ageing boost the Bt Cocktail Products and Bio Ultimate Platinum Machine will give you a surge of energy and leave your skin looking better than it ever has before.

 

It’s important to discuss all your skin and anti ageing options with a skin care therapist before delving straight in. This will ensure that you get exactly the right treatments for you. You may feel that these treatments will be expensive but they actually start at as little as £100/140€, so it is an affordable, long term option. If you have questions about these treatments, products or any other skin and beauty concerns please don’t hesitate to contact me on my website as we have more information on ATP and also the leading professional skincare products in the world ‘dermalogica’, these products specialise in skin types and skin conditions and they have a range called ‘AGEsmart which focuses on ageing and the specifically aids in stopping the ageing process.

Suzie Bell ITEC Qualified Skin and Beauty Specialist

(Trained at the International Dermal Institute)

 If you require more information, or to receive a full and personally prescribed homecare routine don’t hesitate to speak to me directly via the ‘online therapist’’ on

my website, it is safe, secure and trusted

 

I will get back to you within the same day ‘guaranteed’

Expert advice of skin and skincare and all the information you need about the leading professional skincare products ‘dermalogica’

Free shipping for your dermalogica products wherever you are in the world

When you become a VIP member you will receive the worlds fastest selling exfoliant free of charge.

<b>http://www.senses-skincare.com<b>

 

 

 

 

 

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Commitment. The Chicken is Involved. The Pig is Committed.

Posted by Jennifer on May 26, 2009 · Leave a Comment 

So where have I been?

That could be a very valid question.

To be honest life has been a little crazy.

Recently I just came out of hospital. Never been to hospital for an illness before in my life and don't see why I had to start now.

But here I am ... and now I'm out and willing to share with you my thoughts and my reflections.

Hopefully we will all learn something new.

So firstly what was the reason why I was in there? Well nothing too life threatening.

Just a severe case of tonsillitis, which could have potentially blocked my airway.

Not to mention the fact that I couldn't put anything into my mouth, it was excruciating to swallow anything and I was getting very dehydrated.

So 3 days later and more fluid and drugs pumped through me than a local pharmacy, I'm alive, kicking and feeling better than ever.

ok well not better than ever.

But hey I'm getting there. Well enough to write a decent post for you guys that’s for sure.

So what did I learn while I was in there?

Well two things.

One about commitment. And the other about self care.

The second is pretty obvious isn't it?

But the first one, that one was thrown out of left field a little huh?

Well you all know that I love throwing you off balance? hehe

So what you may not know is that I was feeling pretty crook about 3 weeks ago, for the same thing with my throat.

I got over it and then spent a week, not practicing self care, filled with eating at random times, too much stress, too much going out and not enough sleep.

There were a couple of stressful assignments, walks in the drizzling rain and seminars squeezed in there which all required a lot of mental and physical exertion.

This one seminar I did go was absolutely life-changing though. I would pretty much come home every night for 3 nights in a room and tweet all the random and wonderful epiphanies I was having.

(You can follow me on twitter here)

I can't tell you all the random and wonderful things that we did while we were there one the last night we had a Q and A section where 10 people from the audience got to ask any question they wanted.

So naturally. I had a question.

Ready for it?

How do you commit to something?

So I asked this question and the crowd laughed. I was like ... is the answer more obvious than I think it is?

So I added to it and asked, well how do you re-enforce that commitment?

So there was my question, sitting up there on the board staring at me.

What I didn't know at the time, was that for every question that was asked you had a mini - intervention, where you had to answer more questions about your question.

So as I was waiting for the speaker to get to my question, I was starting to get a little anxious.

Anxious that he was going to get me to commit something that I didn't want to or say stuff that I didn't exactly want to share in front of 150 people.

And then ....

It was my turn.

I got the microphone (which was an easy thing for me now)

And this was our conversation

Him: Jennifer, in order to re-enforce commitment, you first have to commit to something.

Me: Well what do you mean?

Him: Name one area that you would like to commit to.

Me: I don’t want to commit to anything

Him: Yes I know.

And by this time I’m thinking. Dammit commitment. I can't even commit to those 24 month phone contracts. Seriously they like ask you for money every month and there are exit fees if you want to exit early. Its like jail.

Him: See the reason why you haven't committed to anything, is because there hasn't been anything that you have ever really wanted.

Me: hmmmmmmm (shite)

Him: If you don't want to commit to something for yourself, then why not do something for your family?

What is something that you really wanted to do?

blah blah back and forth and we decided that I would commit to take my entire family over to Japan next year on a ski trip by Jan 2010.

But see that conversation was so much more than just that.

I walked out of there, thinking, what in my life have a I truly ever committed to?

And what would my life look like if I gave something 1000%.

I mean we all talk a big game, but how many of us actually live that?

It was a huge wake up call for me. A real big smack on the face.

Then like 4 days later, I was smack sick as anything in hospital, which gave me a lot of time to think.

Before that though, when I got home, I got out my journal and started writing out a list of things that I would 1000% commit to.

No excuses. No turning back.

I wrote out a list of commitments that I would eventually integrate into my daily life.

And you know which one was the biggest one for me?

Its about boys, so your going to love it.

Ok here it is .. don't laugh. Or do. Whatever.

"To date only men that are emotionally available who have the potential to become a long term boyfriend".

Now it seems simple right?

I mean what is so hard about writing that commitment.

Well its a lot harder, when you didn't even know that you were a commitment phobe or that you were going after or attracting emotionally unavailable men.

But I committed to that.

That’s one of my main commitments. And so far I have lived up to that.

As part of the commitment formula its also important to re-enforce that with immediate action.

So right then and there I like write down a list of people that I needed to cut out of my life, because they just weren't what I was looking for.

And I did it. I cut them out of my life. That night.

And can I tell you, it was one of the best most liberating feelings in the world.

See I used to think that committing to something, would create a whole new world of fears.

I always thought, hey if you commit to something, there are things that you will be required to do that you don’t want to do.

Therefore if you commit to something, you expose yourself to more fearful situations.

But here is the thing.

When you just commit, burn your bridges .... you shed all doubt within you mind.

Because there is only one option now. Forward.

There is no sideways. There is no backwards. Just straight ahead.

Committing sheds your fears, gives your clarity and puts you in exactly the right direction that you need to go.

You should all try it sometime.

Thoughts?

Hot Alpha Female

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About the author: Jennifer

Jennifer Nielsen is a girl with some dating experience, who has read a whole lot of books and has extraordinary passion about the dating game. She believes you either play full out or don’t play at all, that the world is filled with wonderful and beautiful people, and that healthy relationships are the blood of life.


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Thick…

Posted by Storm on May 21, 2009 · Leave a Comment 

The air is thick and hot and hangs like the moss on the trees outside in the moonlight.

We lay on our backs on the crisp white sheets, listening to the fan above us.

Thud. Whoosh. Thud. Whoosh.

I pray for the air to come down from the high ceiling or a breeze to move in off the water.

The crickets sing through the fan's chorus.

Slowly, I reach over to tickle the lower part of his belly, watching his reflexes and the muscles tighten as he tries not to laugh.

Absently I continue, running circles around his navel with my fingertips.  

He sighs contentedly and I move up and down lightly tracing lines along his thighs, around his belly, never touching his cock.  It's a game we play and it takes no time before it is reaching for me, begging me to wrap my hand around it.

But I don't.  Not yet.  It's way too much fun to have him squirming.

I'd make him beg if it weren't so damned hot.

Finally, he begins to squirm and turns toward me, poking my hip with his long, hard cock.

I laugh and begin to protest about how hot it is but he is over me, running a trail of precum down my belly to the cleft of my pussy.

I try to open my legs but his are on the outside holding them together.

Slowly he begins pushing against my lips, until the head of his cock slides against my clit, but no further.

Braced above me, he grabs my hips for leverage and grinds his cock slowly into the cleft, the lips sucking on the juicy head as we both begin to sweat.

Him from the heat; me from the swelling in my clit, the tingling in my toes....

He reaches up for my arms, leans over to kiss me and releases my legs, sliding into my cunt as I cum.

Just in time for him to fuck me.

About the author: Storm

Ambient Storm is one of the web's most read female sex bloggers and a finalist in the 2005 "Best Of Blogs" Awards. Her motto is "My real life is ALWAYS hotter than my fantasies."


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Counteracting the “Princess Myth”

Posted by Miss Unconventional, Latina Fatale on May 20, 2009 · Leave a Comment 


Class is now in session!!

In my last post, I explained the itch that I have been feeling lately to reconnect with my teaching roots, and decided that I would kick off this week with a series of posts on teaching and/or raising feminist daughters and non-sexist sons. I'd like to discuss one of my very favorite books that expose children to a different type of princess than what they typically see in many of the mainstream books and movies regarding princesses: "The Paper Bag Princess". 

I think that the whole princess culture is pretty stupid, if you ask me. The castle, the prince and the fluffy dress have never appealed to me in the least. Someone once told me that she was going to put a curse on me so that when I have children that I will have little girls who worship the princess cult. Well, I most definitely hope that will never happen because it's something that I refuse to tolerate. The only princesses I want anything to do with are the bad ass little princess who knock the knight down and steal his horse. Or men who dress up as a princess.

"The Paper Bag Princess" is a great book to read to children, adolescents, and even adults in order to have discussions regarding the princess myth. It's also a great book to have discussions with boys and males about respect for women, selfishness and patriarchy in general. Let me tell you a little about "The Paper Bag Princess", if you haven't already read this classic book:

The book begins with a beautiful princess who wore all the pretty princess clothing and was of course betrothed to the handsome prince. One day, a mean dragon flies into the kingdom, burns everything down and kidnaps the prince. The poor princess is left with nothing, not even clothing, and she uses a paper bag to dress herself before she sets off to find and rescue the prince. 

The princess arrives at the dragon's castle and ingeniously devises a plan to outwit the big, bad dragon. She appeals to his ego (yes, HIS ego..) and persuades him to huff and puff and show her how big, bad and strong he is. The dragon soon grows tired of his huffing and puffing. Then she convinces the dragon to show her how fast he is, and the dragon zips all around the place to demonstrate his speed. Finally....the dragon collapses from exhaustion and the princess swoops into the castle to rescue the prince.

Immediately after she beats down the door and saves the day, the prince begins to criticize her for the paper bag she is wearing. He says something to the effect, "Princess, you have ashes all over you, your hair is messy, and you are wearing a silly paper bag. You need to clean yourself up before you marry me!"

And what do you suppose the princess did??

Well, she kicked him to the curb. She tells him, "You know what, you fuckhead?? You don't appreciate anything that I did for you. You are USELESS!" (My summary is obviously an adult reconstruction of the children's book, but she really did tell him that he was useless).

My favorite part of the story (besides her telling him that he was useless) was the ending when the princess skips off into the sunset. Instead of the "happily ever after" bullshit, the book ends with: "The princess didn't marry the prince after all". 

I absolutely LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this book and highly recommend it. I have even read it to adults when I have trained teachers, and they love it. You've got to have it on your bookshelf. If you only have boys, you should still read this book to them because there are many productive conversations that can be made regarding the prince's behavior. You can buy the twenty-fifth anniversary edition here.

Additional Resources:

Just because I am on the topic of princesses, there is another really great story called "The Princess Who Stood on Her Own Two Feet".  It has a similar theme--the prince doesn't accept a princess because she is too tall, too smart, and the list goes on and on.  You can also check out some additional non-traditional princesses in the Bad Ass Femmes store.

For some of you adults who have been trained that you need a man to take care of you, maybe some of you need to read this book to beat that princess ideology out of your heads--Prince Charming Isn't Coming: How Women Get Smart About Money. Stop sitting around and waiting for a future prince to save the day. You're a grown ass woman, for Goddess's sake!

About the author: Miss Unconventional, Latina Fatale

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Class is in Session!!

Posted by Miss Unconventional, Latina Fatale on May 20, 2009 · Leave a Comment 

Lately I've been feeling an uncontrollable itch to get back into touch with my roots in teaching. Although I'm currently in the field of educational administration/management, I have been a teacher at the elementary and middle school levels. As all good educational administrators know, that itch to get back into the classroom never quite goes away. If you are glad to be out of the classroom, then you more than likely were a crappy teacher who shouldn't have been in the classroom in the first place, and definitely don't need to be in charge of a school site or school system. 

Working as an administrator in an urban school setting has its challenges, which includes working with a variety of people with different views, including some conservative people. As an administrator, I have publicly stated that I am a feminist a few times and the majority of people actually look at me in shock and/or awe. (Administrators are obviously supposed to be bland, boring people who don't have a life and don't rock the boat). 

I have a position that many other people in the institution would love to have, so I've decided that it is in my best interest that most people know the least amount of information about me, including some of my political views. Everyone knows damn well that I'm a political leftist and feminist, but I've decided to be selective in what I publicly say. I have begun to learn that the less I say, the more leverage I have because people don't know what to expect from me. Not to mention that it is often quite irritating and a major buzz kill to discuss feminist issues with a bunch of women and/or men who tend to buy into the traditional notion of gender roles. 

So I have decided that I will scratch my itch here on the blog, and kick off a couple of posts about teaching and/or raising children from a feminist perspective. I tend to get on these rants with certain topics, so let's see how long this will last. (Remember when I was on my Frida Kahlo kick? Well, I'll get back on that bandwagon sooner or later!). I'm most definitely not a mother, so my posts will be more from a teacher's perspective as to which resources are out there for parents who would like to raise strong, independent, and confident daughters as well as non-sexist boys. 

Stay tuned for my first post tomorrow about my favorite children's book that turns traditional gender roles upside down and provides an independent role model for little girls. Maybe, just maybe if you're lucky I'll even have some give-aways because I've got tons of resources that I have refused to give away over the years. 

Now, pardon me if I excuse myself because I've got a feminist agenda to spread. Knowing the perverted circles that I run in, some of you will probably expect me to be cracking the ruler on your asses to keep you in line. I just might do so, if you're lucky!! 

About the author: Miss Unconventional, Latina Fatale

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Bad-Ass-Bitches Videos of the Week

Posted by Miss Unconventional, Latina Fatale on May 18, 2009 · Leave a Comment 


I just had a friend who discovered that her husband was cheating on her. Needless to say, he isn't going to know what hit him after she gets through with him. This post is inspired by her situation and is dedicated to her getting the best possible revenge on that womanizer! 

Bust Your Windows-Jazmine Sullivan: You just don't fuck around on some women, or they will make your life miserable. They'll bust the windows out of your car, etch their initials in your brand new paint job, spray paint your expensive art collection, poor red wine all over the house, break your wine glasses, throw all your vintage records around, and give you a big ass headache. 

Ese Hombre-La India: If you know salsa music, then you know that La India is one bad ass salsera. One of my favorite songs by her is "Ese Hombre", which is nothing but a long string of shit-talking and insults aimed at a man. Even if you don't know Spanish, you should learn the lyrics so that you can learn some insults--here are the Spanish lyrics. This is what she is basically saying:
"That man that you see over there-who appears so gallant, so attentive and so arrogant, I know him well. That man that you see over there-who appears to be so divine, so nice, only knows how to cause suffering. He's really annoying...a stupid ingrate... egotistical and sneaky... a vain clown...inconsiderate and stuck-up... full of jealousy...insecure of himself..."

Pardon my translation, as I am not a professional translator. You get the point. Anyhow, enjoy!

P.S. Thanks to Femina Prudentia for reminding me about La India song!! 

About the author: Miss Unconventional, Latina Fatale

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Every Strong, Independent Woman’s Worst Enemy Just Might Be Another Woman

Posted by Miss Unconventional, Latina Fatale on May 15, 2009 · Leave a Comment 


I didn't want to have to write this post, but apparently I am going to have to. I never want to be the type of woman who bashes or betrays other women, but lately I have been sick and tired of women who hurt other women.

I'm officially stating for the record that the people in this world who have hurt me the most in my life have been other women. Female colleagues, former friends, family members...you name it. I've carried around this naive "female solidarity" idea for way too long, and I am officially ending my belief in that nonsense.

I'm a bad-ass, take-no-nonsense woman. All ambitious, intelligent, confident and assertive females probably know exactly what I am talking about when I state that other women can be our worst enemy. Fuck the glass ceiling--other insecure females who attempt to maim, lame and "do us in" can be much more damaging than any man or glass ceiling could ever be. Insecure, petty and passive aggressive women just can't take a strong, successful woman and will try to do anything in their power to tear her down.

I will save my frustration and details for a later post. In the meantime, I have been poking around online and buying some books pertaining to this topic. I plan to continue on with this topic, because I am sure that it is something that most assertive, ambitious and confident women can relate to.

I initially started this blog to document my search for and life-long love affair with bad-ass women. I've always loved the stories of the whores, renegades, rebels and wicked bitches of the world. If you dig just a little deeper, you'll find that most of the rumors and myths that circulate about these women are bullshit.

Some myths were crafted with care by the women themselves (a much needed skill for all bad asses), but other myths and rumors were started by other people in an attempt to discredit, oppress or hurt strong women because they more than likely didn't fit into someone's boring little box. Femina Prudentia delineated a perfect example in her guest post about Jezebel; many of us have been taught that Jezebel was a whore, but we can't recall any whore-istic escapades that she had.

I've always thought that it is even more damaging when another woman is the one who is spreading rumors and discrediting strong women. I mean, hell, I expect it from insecure men, but I would love to believe in that ideal notion of sisterhood. So now I am on a quest to shed a little insight into these bitches who attempt to hurt and hold down strong, independent women.

A few weeks ago in the bookstore I came upon the book Woman's Inhumanity to Woman. I admire the author for her courage to write a book that she suppressed for over twenty years out of respect for that feminist cultural myth of sisterhood and solidarity. The author raises some interesting points in the book about indirect aggression between women through the use of rumors, gossip, social isolation and all such nonsense. I haven't yet finished the book.

Coincidentally, I came upon the "Odd Girl Out" movie on television last weekend. The movie is once again about indirect female aggression and bullying between adolescent girls. I figured that I would also buy the book to see what it has to say, and the book just came yesterday. So far, it's pretty similar to the previous book that I mentioned with a specific emphasis on adolescent girls.

And, just because I sometimes get fanatical when I am studying a topic, I also decided to get the book "Mean Girls Grown Up: Adult Women Who Are Still Queen Bees, Middle Bees and Afraid-To-Bees". The book just arrived today and it looks similar to the others, but with an emphasis on adult women and possibly indirect aggression of females in the workplace.

I was raised by a feminist mother to be a feminist myself. My mother came through the feminism of the sixties and the seventies and taught me that sisterhood and solidarity with other women is of utmost importance. I believe this and practice this with all my heart. But my mom also taught me that my worst enemy would be the envy and jealousy of other women who will want to hurt me and hold me back because they are too scared and/or weak to be a trailblazer themselves.

I think that we need to start having more discussions about the damage that women can cause to other women in addition to our discussions of patriarchy. In the meantime, let's all start slapping the shit out of these bitches who try to muzzle and box some of us wild women into a menagerie.

About the author: Miss Unconventional, Latina Fatale

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The Cannes Film Festival Kicks Off!

Posted by StyleList Staff on May 13, 2009 · Leave a Comment 

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Ooh la la! The 62nd international film festival held in Cannes, France got off to a stylish start today when legendary actresses and jury members Sharmila Tagore, Robin Wright Penn (in Elie Saab Vintage Couture), Isabelle Huppert (this year's jury president), Asia Argento and Shu Qi posed for their photo call.

Celebrity enthusiasts might recall that it was Robin Wright Penn's soon-to-be-ex-husband Sean Penn who served as last year's jury president. (Among his tribunal was Natalie Portman, who he is now rumored to be dating.)

Check back with StyleList over the next 11 days for more celeb glamour shots and insider info from the cinematic festivities.

The Cannes Film Festival Kicks Off! originally appeared on StyleList Fashion Blog on Wed, 13 May 2009 21:15:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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