The breakup playlist

It was nasty. You were angry. Maybe it was his fault; maybe it was yours. Either way, the breakup was so painful that you swore you’d never fall for another man ever again. You stayed up all night and cried, and then called up your girlfriends for ice cream and a sob-a-thon-male-bash fest because having someone to sympathize with you is just so comforting.

But during those moments when you’re by all by your lonesome because your girlfriends can’t be physically there for you 24-7 — like when you’re in your room getting dressed or when you’re driving to work and you feel your stomach churn as you replay the breakup in your head for the one-hundredth time — you need something to get your mind off the heartbreak, to keep you from cutting yourself or driving off a cliff. So here are songs you should jam out to during those agonizing times, to remind you of why you don’t need the loser anyway.

As the epitome of the you-broke-my-heart-and-now-I’m-gonna-bash-you-in-a-song artist, Kelly Clarkson’s (Since U Been Gone, Walk Away, Never Again) tunes in the key of angry are ones to definitely include. I mean, did he deserve you? Nah. So should you still be crying over him? No, duh. So get a move on — think about all the reasons he wasn’t worth your time and about the good times you’ll now have without him. Other artists to listen to are Jojo (Too Little Too Late, Get Out), Christina DeBarge (Good Bye), Katy Perry (Ure So Gay) and Rihanna (Ovation).

Tracks that empower women and their sexuality, like Destiny’s Child and Beyonce (Irreplaceable, Single Ladies, Independent Woman), Christina Aguilera (Fighter, Can’t Hold Us Down), Pink (So What) and The Pussycat Dolls (Don’t Need a Man, Don’t Cha) also need to be included. These songs sung by alpha-female goddesses remind us that not only can we easily get over ex-boyfriends, but we can just as easily be happy on our own, or better yet, replace them with better ones and get better sex. And may they soon realize their mistake in letting us go and pine for us forever and ever.

Country music, while usually filled with sorrowful songs of heartbreak and “I can’t live without you”-type emotional lyrics, has a string of female vocalists who aren’t afraid to show a little (or a lot) of aggression toward lost love. Jo Dee Messina’s (Bye Bye) songs are much mellower in nature compared to Carrie Underwood (Before He Cheats) and Taylor Swift’s (Picture to Burn, Should’ve Said No) songs — the girls will key your car and slash your tires, take our your headlights with a baseball bat and sleep with your best buddies. But even these two are tame compared to Miranda Lambert (Gunpowder and Lead, Kerosene), who’ll apparently burn your house down and shoot you. She’s like, “you broke my heart and now you’re gonna die. Haha.” Yeah, they better be shivering in their pants.