Cheating … Should You Tell Your Partner?

Now I’m sure if you are a person that has never been cheated on or done the cheating you definitely know someone who has.

I’m hesitant to write about this situation – because I’ve never cheated or been cheated on (that I know of). So I’m worried that my perspective may be slightly skewed and just plain down right unrealistic.

But I’m going to continue writing anyway. The truth is that besides the fact that I have never been in the situation before, I have definitely seen my friends and people I care about go through the emotional turmoil.

Lets admit it, cheating makes things pretty messy. The fact is, its easy to say what you will or won’t do. Like “I’ll never cheat” or blurt out clichés like “once a cheater always a cheater”, but until you are in a particular situation, who knows what you will really do.

Now first lets define what cheating is. Does that mean having some sort of a physical relationship with someone else, no matter how brief?

Does a kiss on the lips with someone other than your partner constitute as cheating? Does opening up to someone on an emotional level in addition to your partner constitute as emotional cheating and is therefore just as treacherous?

I’m the kind of girl that loves black and white, right and wrong. But I’ve learnt that there are a lot of life situations where shades are grey, are all that exist.

Cheating is one of these areas.

So to get us all running off the same base, lets just say that you have slept with someone else other than your partner. Lets say it was once and you wish to purse no other relationship with this partner in crime.

What do you do?

Are you part of the “what he/she doesn’t know can’t hurt him/her” team?

Or are you more of an advocate of “he/she has a right to know” team?

Here is what I think.

Many argue that option A is better, because the act of telling your partner that you cheated on them, gives them the burden of bearing your own guilt.

The fact is that “you” made the wrong decision and therefore you have to bear the consequences of withholding it to just yourself.

People say that this option is better because then the relationship can continue its course and no one will be the wiser. You learnt your lesson. You know how you feel about your partner and you want to continue a relationship with them.

My thoughts? Taking this option is simply the easy way out. You convince yourself your doing your partner a favor by sparing them the pain of finding out that you were unfaithful to them.

Well reality check. You still did it. And that is not going to change anything. I think its naive, ignorant and highly selfish to make that decision on your partner’s behalf.

When you entered into a relationship you also created a contract – which I believe involves honesty and respect.

What is honest and respectful about not telling you partner the truth?

I think the real reason why people don’t want to tell a partner of their infidelity is because they are scared of losing them.

Scared that telling the truth will completely abolish everything they have worked so hard to create.

But let me tell you this. Honesty is always the best policy. Let me just play it out for you.

You do tell him/him. They can’t forgive you and you guys end the relationship – learn your lessons and move on. Did you have something so “real” anyway if you had to go somewhere outside that relationship to get your needs met and couldn’t communicate your way out of it?

You do tell him/her. You guys fight. Your both hurt. You communicate through it. You learn to develop a deeper trust for eachother, set new boundaries, learn to meet eachother needs and the relationship actually gets taken to a whole new level.

Some of you may think that option B is a utopian way of looking at it. The truth is, that many couples work through cheating and come out stronger at the end of it.

For me this topic is really about whether you have the guts to face your fears, to own up to something that is going to eat at you for years anyways and a chance to learn something new about yourself.

Why would you run away and want to avoid that? Life wasn’t meant to be easy. Its there for us to challenge our fears and face the truth.

I’m sure a lot of you have things to say about this. But what are your thoughts? If you have cheated on a partner, should you tell them or not. If so why/why not?

Looking forward to your comments

Hot Alpha Female

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Why Does She Keep Dumping Me?

I’m sure there are many of YOU guys who have gone through a breakup – where the girl has clearly dumped you.

Breakups in general suck! But if its a different girl, but the same situation over and over again, then there has to be something “Your” doing to contribute the ultimate ending of your relationship.

If you can get her, thats one thing, but can you really keep her, because that in itself is the ultimate skill.

Jay and I don’t really believe in rules. But more guidelines, ways of thinking and principles. In this video we address some hot issues like;

*Why girls like straight to your face and get away with it.

*The truth about “being yourself” and what really works.

*What are some attractive factors that keep a girl interested and begging for MORE MORE MORE!

For my subscribers click here to view the video!

Please feel free to leave a comment here

Next post is coming out on Friday! – Cheating, To Tell or Not To Tell ….

Hot Alpha Female

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Wicked Wednesdays! Why Do Women Send Out Confusing Signals? …

Lets face it, us women can be a bunch of moody … group at times and this is more confusing to a guy than it is to us.

But as a guy how can you really learn to deal with this at all? How to you know the difference between when a girl is saying something she means or she is just saying something for the sake of it?

Well in my newest video with accomplice Jay – We tackle this question head on! Watch out for more weekly videos from my new channel JenandJayLive.

Let me know your thoughts or if you have any questions feel free to leave a comment here

Hot Alpha Female

How To Tell What He Is Really Thinking …

Got ya with that headline right? Come-on, I’m a chick, I know the conversations we have over coffee or breakfast with the girlfriends, trying to figure out exactly what Mr. A is thinking and what he meant by saying that or doing this.

I must admit that girls love to fantasize. We love to make up stories in our head and hope for the best that it will turn out like that in reality.

The truth is, this is probably the number one cause for drama in a girls dating or relationship life, because it sets up unrealistic expectations or outcomes which cannot really be controlled.

Usually a girls thinking goes along like this, “If only I knew what he really meant, when he said this, or looked at me that way. If I really knew then I would be happy, or I wouldn’t have to worry”.

No wonder dating and relationships can be so agonizing! That’s torture right there. Because the truth is, even if a guy tells you straight out what he is thinking, it still might not be the truth! You will still colour it with your perceptions, your beliefs and all these filtering systems in your mind.

We are hardly ever relating to an actual person anymore. More so just the thoughts of who “WE” believe them to be.

So I guess now you want an answer to the truth about what men are thinking …

Well here is my answer….

It doesn’t matter!

Yep. You girls are probably hating me right now. Some of you might be thinking, “What do you mean it doesn’t matter, how does it not matter?!”

Yeh I love you too.

No, truly I do care about you guys and that is exactly why I’m telling you “as it is”.

The truth is, that guys don’t anal-yse as much as we do.

The truth is, if you really want to know how a guy feels about you, look at his actions.

Action is the language of men. That’s your gauge.

If a guy is interested in you, he will chase you down like no tomorrow. Men are hunters. Your the prey. Let them do their job.

Common situations for single gals
So if there is a guy you like and things are going well. Then all of a sudden he is no longer calling you, contacting you or asking you out on dates.

Do yourself a flavour and listen what he is really saying. His actions show that he is not chasing you. Therefore for whatever reason, he has lost interest. I know it sucks.

Don’t take it personally. Unless there was something really crazy that you did, that scared him away.

In that case, fix that up and keep on going.

Common situation for gals in a relationship
So a guy tells you he loves you. Ok its called a Tuesday. But how do you really know?
Well does he ask you what’s wrong when you seem in a stinky mood? Does he make the effort to see and contact you? When you make a request or tell him about something you need, does he step up to the platter?

Its easy to love a person on a good day, when all things are going well. But real love is when a person sticks by you thick and thin. Good and bad days and doesn’t love you any less for it.

In this day and age, words are easy to come by and easy to say.Many people these days say one thing and then do another. So don’t fall into that pitfall. You are looking for people who are not only true to their word, but have their actions match their words.

So next time your wondering if a guy is really interested in you, or into you. Really listen. By observing what he does.

Matching words with actions is what you are looking for. You deserve nothing less.

Men: Do you agree? Men speak by actions?

Women: have any stories to share in relation to this?

Love to hear your thoughts.

Hot Alpha Female

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Do You Like Dating People With More Problems Than YOU?

So here is the thing. Dating is this fast paced, confusing and messy place at times. It can send you to the heights of happiness/excitement when you meet someone great to the depths of sadness/anger when it doesn’t work out. It can be one of those highly frustrating but truly rewarding journey’s especially when you find a good guy or girl.

But before we get to that part, I want to talk about a pitfall that a lot of people get themselves into and find it hard to dig themselves out. What I have noticed the most is that WE are the ones that make our dating lives complicated.

Whether that be because of our poor choice of dating partners or our bad relationship habits based on the past – usually we are at least 50% responsible for something not working out.

I was recently having a conversation with a good friend of mine who is having issues with a girl that he is still very much interested in. This girl just so happens to be very emotionally charged and comes with a lot of baggage.

Realizing that my friend was in actual fact a lot of fun and very easy going – I was a little baffled and wondered why on earth he was attracted or interested in someone like her.

His response surprised me. It was this.

“I just like having someone who I can help and therefore feel appreciated” – in other words someone who will need me.

Now there in lies the core problem. Dating isn’t necessarily a contract. You don’t take the pros and cons of someone and weight them up on a piece of paper and then make your decision. Its not a I’ll give 50% and you better give me the other 50%. Its not made on a “needs” and “wants” basis.

Dating and relationships are messy. And if you haven’t noticed there are a lot of irrational emotions involved. There is lust, attraction, chemical reactions – all taking place to cloud your judgement and help you build unrealistic expectations.

That added with a poor choice in partners and I can guarantee whether your male or female that is bound to get you a lot of dating drama. Cold and hot behavior. Confusing signals. Mis-communication and so on. Disagreements and silly fights about absolutely nothing.

So if in fact we are picking partners that create more drama and having all this drama leads us to being single for a longer period of time – then we are also the ones to choose our dating status.

In the “Wedding Date” one of my favorite movie quotes was something along the lines of “Every woman has the exact love life she wants”.

I go along and say everyman has that too.

So what I’m honestly wanting to share with you is – just maybe its not the fact that “all the good men are taken”, “you don’t have time”, “your attracting the wrong singles” or “you can’t meet anyone until some pre-requiste has been met”. Maybe, just maybe it has something to do with YOU and not THEM.

All of these excuses, stories and fallacies are what keep you safe. They keep you from actively engaging in the dating world, enjoying it and doing it on drama free basis. SO when you can assume full responsibility for where you are right now, then you are the one that has complete control over how you want it to work out in the future.

Now isn’t that a risk worth taking?

Readers would love to hear your opinion – what are some of the common dating excuses you use or some people you know use?

Look out for the next Brutally Honest HAF Post.

Hot Alpha Female

So Im Seeing This Guy …

Hey guys.

Ok so I have to be honest. Some of you may have noticed that I’ve been away. The truth is I have been here the whole time, racking my brain as to what to write about. I have about 10 or 12 half written posts which I just can’t bear to finish. My mind is heavy, my writing is slow. And for the life of me, I just couldn’t figure out what was going on.

So I guess I just have to be honest with you guys, clear my chest and free my mind. About three months ago I just started seeing this really special guy. A guy who already has enriched my life is so many ways and taught me more about relationships in the last 3 months than in the last 3 years.

In this whirlwind beautiful romance which I could have only made up in an epic fiction novel, I have found that my energy has been refocused on ideas about relationships and dating that are MORE than just about “how to attract and man or a woman” but on things that are deeper, more meaningful and more honest than I could have ever possibly imagined.

Therefore for now, I’m cutting back on all the airy fairy dating advice, I will admit my own advice got me to this wonderful relationship and I value its quality. I just think that from my experience if as individuals we look at our own truths, speak honestly about ourselves from the heart, finding someone to appreciate and love that …. is very easy. So why not get to that stuff first?

So maybe it has been difficult for me to write – because I was trying to write about a chapter in my book which for now has ended. A new one has opened and the only thing I feel I can do, is look forward and enjoy the new space by which I have so much to learn from.

Being essentially single and dating for about 3 years with some road stops along the way, taught me many things about myself, men and gave me greater emotional maturity. It taught me to set boundaries, to communicate properly, to respect myself and above all enjoy my own company. Something I have spoken about countless times on this blog.

You can’t date or truly find someone with a crazy list in your head, with a set of rules about what you should and shouldn’t do. I learnt that a true and genuine relationship comes from being able to truly connect and understand yourself first.

I’m reminded of one of my friends who happens to be single and frustrated with the dating game. Riddled with experiences of cat and mouse games, unavailable guys, blurred half relationships, I can totally understand her frustration. Been there, done that.

But the truth is singleness is a highlight of my life so far. It was so much fun, not knowing what was going to happen next, always been swept away by different men, being able to have the freedom to do what you want, when you wanted to. Its all part of the process and to be honest it makes far more interesting conversation at a girls night out laughing about horror dates or mysterious guys we just can’t figure out.

Being single is a self discovery process. So are relationships. Its just sometimes, you learn different things about yourself in each stage. I had single life handled. I was comfortable with it. I knew how to deal with it.

And that’s how life is. As soon as your are comfortable with something in your life, thinking that things are not going to change, then BANG. There comes another challenge. And another one and another. And its a beautiful thing.

So there it is. The god honest truth. Hot Alpha Female is seeing a guy. Just one. Exclusively. Phew. I feel great!! So on that note I’m going to wrap it up with a note for single girls and boys out there, with one piece of advice.

Don’t “want” or “long” for a relationship. It will not save you. It will not give you the happiness you have always dreamed about it. All of that starts today. Those things you are putting on hold until you find that partner … do them now. Enjoy the freedom of being single, celebrate it, have a party! When this happens the calling of “silent desperation” will no longer sound …

So here is to o a new chapter of Hot Alpha Female. You can be assured that the advice with be even more brutally honest than ever before.

Hope you guys are ready =)

Hot Alpha Female

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The Top 3 Cliches of Attracting An Ideal Mate EXPOSED!

Now I’m sure after a few seconds of googling that you will be able to find every book, article and seminar under the sun that will tell you how to find the right guy/girl.

Well the truth is, by the 10th article you’ve read, you realise that all the advice is all the same all CR*P.

Its boring. Its cliché. Its unrealistic. It doesn’t work.

I’m all about a straight forwards and practical approach these days (No BS approach), so what are all the other people saying?
1) Make a list of your ideal partner
2) Get comfortable with single life
3) Be the person you want to attract

I mean fair comment. They all look like reasonable things to follow. Heck it seems that on the surface that they would even seem to work.

So why is, for those of us that have tried it, we seem to be in a bigger whole which is getting harder and harder to dig out.

Well that’s because, these statements while are on track are missing the most simple truths.

So lets see what these are?

Mistake # 1 – Make your ideal partner list
You know the list. The one where you state what they look like, their occupation, their ethnic background, whether or not they like outdoor sports and so on.

Well I say if you DON’T have one, then keep it that way. If you do have one – then scrap it. And scrap it now!

Why? Because while to good to know what you are looking for, most of you are so deluded if the right person smacked you in the face, you still wouldn’t know what hit you.

Truth
Having a list, keeps you in this fantasy, Hollywood romantic comedy movie – So when someone who could be potentially a great match for you comes along … you have no time to notice how amazing they are, because they don’t fit that picture you have in your head.

If you must make a list, then make a list of things that are important to you.

What are you values? What are your priorities? What makes you laugh or smile? What gets you up in the morning?

Once you figure out this, then you will be closer to figuring out what partner would really suit you and what their values would be.

Make sure to leave out the superficial stuff … Looks, ethnic background, financial status.

Focus on values, genuine, loyal, compassionate, understanding, great sense of dry humour etc.

Mistake # 2 – Get comfortable with being single
Course you have to enjoy yourself, but I know for a fact there are a lot of you that can’t stand being single.

Ok fair enough. I get it. People tell you, you should be so happy your single. Your young, free and you can do whatever you want!

So why are you moping at home, watching Seinfeld re-runs wishing you had someone to laugh with? Why are you pissed off that all your other single friends are getting significant others?

Truth
People say get comfortable with being single, well I say get really really uncomfortable with being single and get comfortable with being in a relationship!

Wow. That sounds like totally contradictory. Well, welcome to my blog – glad you could join.

In fact I’m saying look at all the things in your life that are keeping you single. Do you get with your girlfriends on a weekly basis and complain, whine and moan about the opposite sex? Do you have a whole bunch of single guy friends who you play poker every week who bag out any of the guys who have girlfriends and appear a bit “whipped?”

I say if you are really serious about finding a mate, then simply replace these social occasions with dinner with friends who are in happy healthy relationships.

Replace these with social occasions with attending events you have a specific interest in, which also gives you the opportunity to meet someone like minded.

Celebrate where you are right now and also celebrate the joy of what it would be like to BE in a relationship too.

On some level, you are going to have to shift your energy towards this, whether this be an subconscious or conscious effort.

Mistake # 3 – Be the person you want to attract
OK well this isn’t real a mistake. The point is very valid, is just some people misinterpret how you do this.

What does becoming the person you want to attract entail? Does it involve day dreaming, making lists and fantasizing about how happy you are going to be when you meet your ideal mate?

Does it involve sitting back and then going, “come and get me baby!”

Well if you haven’t guessed it, No, No and NOOO.

Truth
This step involves really engaging in your own life. It means looking at life as the one and only chance you have got, so making the most out of it.

It means to start focusing on your life and how you feel about it, instead of how it will feel when you find someone special.

Its about controlling your internal world so you can transform your external world.

The most important thing is that you feel good in this moment. A relationship that is a struggle to build in the beginning will only be a reflection of the challenges that will be experienced during its fruition (<------ Isn’t that a sexy word?!)

The challenge is to stay absolutely present and in this moment. You can use things like visualizations, diary writing, mind movies *check the links at the bottom* or any practice that makes you feel good about yourself and your life.

Do what feels right for you. There are no right and wrongs.

I can guarantee that people who have been able to attract an ideal partner into their life have undergone this process, consciously or subconsciously.

So remember put down the lists, get off your butt and get into your life.

It has worked for me and I’m pretty sure it will work for you too!

Thoughts or comments? Feel free to leave them below, would love to hear them =)

P.s. Mind movies have really worked a treat for me =) I created mine more than 2 years ago and whilst it was fun it also allowed me to start feeling good in the moment. If you read my article you will realise that this is very important.

Here are the links to my mind movies for you to have a look yourself.

My Personal Mind Movie
My Ideal Mate Love Mind Movie

Here is the link, if you want to know how to make your own.

Hot Alpha Female

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Attracting Women How You Were Suppose To!

Haven’t you guys heard enough from me about my thoughts and insights about attracting men?

Wouldn’t you like to here how a guy does it, and does it well, in a natural and completely confident way?

Well don’t worry you in luck. One of my very good friends Graham is here to share some tips on how you can start attracting women naturally, like right now.

So lets welcome our guest and be nice! Or not. I’m sure he could handle it =P

Meeting women, interacting with them and dating them successfully all comes down to a combination of your mindset and the skills that you have, to make yourself attractive and interesting to women.

Attraction between men and women is a completely natural thing. The problem for guys who struggle with women is that we get in our own way by repeating ineffective behaviors in our interactions with women that kill this natural attraction. After a while, we conclude that there’s something wrong with us, or that the women we’re interested in just aren’t attracted to us; when in fact, success is simply a matter of replacing the ineffective behaviors with those that are more likely to get us positive results.

By far the biggest killer of attraction for a woman is neediness. Whether it be social neediness, emotional neediness or sexual neediness; any of these are a huge turn-off for women. Trying to make a woman like you is an instant recipe for failure because it’s just exhibiting your social neediness. Rather than worrying about what she thinks of you, focus on how you can provide value for her in this interaction by making it fun and engaging for her. Emotional or sexual neediness will both kill any sexual tension, and make you come across as just another desperate guy who either wants a surrogate mother, or wants to use her for sex. Or both. Women have a radar for guys like that, and it just ain’t appealing to them.

If you can hold a conversation that’s engaging and enjoyable for her, she’ll end up being interested and attracted to you. Once you learn to get good at this, you’ll find all your social interactions with women becoming more enjoyable. If you’re needy and stressed out when talking to a woman, that’s going to make her uncomfortable and be massively un-attractive to her.

The surest way to overcome neediness is to have a well-rounded, interesting life of your own, with a wide social circle. Having a wide range of interests and hobbies that you engage in not only makes your life more enjoyable, it also makes you a more well-rounded man. And this makes you much more attractive to women. It takes the pressure off you because the outcome of any particular social interaction with a woman is unimportant: no matter how it goes, you have a great life to fall back on anyway. Without this pressure, you can be even more fun and engaging in your interactions.

Another sure-fire attraction-killer is putting the woman on a pedestal. The more attractive the woman, the more likely it is that she’s besieged by guys all of whom are trying to get into her pants by being “nice” to her all the time, or trying to get her to like them so she can be a trophy on their arm. Attractive women know this, and it pisses them off.

Regardless of their looks, you need to treat women as your equal if you want them to be attracted to you. The best way to knock a woman off the pedestal that you keep putting her on is to tease her. Teasing is the basis of all flirting, and is a fun and engaging way to connect with a woman. If you were on the wrong end of hurtful teasing as a kid, this isn’t going to feel natural at first; but we’re not kids any more and playful teasing really does work positively with adult women. Once you start teasing a woman playfully, she’ll begin responding to you in a totally different way, and conversations that once seemed like a terror-inducing nightmare for you will turn into fun for both of you.

I’ve only scratched the surface here, so to learn more about mindset changes to make, practical steps you can take, hobbies to experience, things to do and places to go to meet and attract more and better quality women check out my book on How to Become a Chick Magnet. Grab a copy and start having the success with women that you deserve!

Graham Stoney is a Life Coach and Author of How to Become a Chick Magnet: A step-by-step guide to developing the subconscious mindset and practical skillset a man needs to effortlessly attract women.

3 Step Proven Formula To Remain Single Indefinitely

Now I’m going to share with you a step by step proven method on how you girls can remain single indefinitely.

If you read now, I’ll even throw in a lifetime guarantee that this method does work. In fact if you don’t believe me, I’ll get you to listen to the countless testimonials from my girlfriends on how much this formula has worked for them.

Now I know your excited right? Well don’t let me leave you hanging, well get stuck into this straight away.

Be insanely cynical. Now I’m talking about the real deal here. I’m saying you have to go to the depths of cynicism and rip the roots out and then carry it around in your handbag, wearing it as a badge of honor that screams “I’ve been hurt, get the F*** away from me”.

If you don’t do it to this extreme, then sorry, it just aint gonna work.

Not only are you to wear this cynicism on your sleeve, you must also be cynical particularly about men. You must believe that all men are cheaters, liars, manipulators whose sole purpose is to make the a woman’s world a living hell. You must also believe that you will be taken advantage of as soon as you given anything of yourself and that you will be used, abused and discarded at any man’s leisure. Cynisaism, that is the first and most important key. Now lets move onto the next tip.

Be a rock hard B*tch Yeh you heard me. I am talking to you. I mean you need to be the most stubborn, inflexible, short tempered, demanding and controlling woman you can be. Your hissy fits need to put 5 year old temper tantrum to shame. I expect cat fights with your best friends over a un-returned bobbing pin. I’m thinking like major PMS like 24/7. The smallest things have to trigger your anger and when you are angry, then you must ensure that not only do your neighbors neighbors hear you …. But people in the next street feel compelled to call the police because they think a domestic is going on, when really you have just realized that your out of toothpaste.

You need a fuse shorter than a mini matchstick and make impossible demands that the USA military couldn’t even fill. When a man has the nerve to cancel a date on you, or god forbid comes 10 minute late, you are to arrange an assault that man, his car and his dog, which is relentless until he profusely apologizes and kneels down on the floor in front of you in the fetal position like a quivering mess.

If you are unable to do this. Then I just don’t think you are cut out to be single. This leads to the next point

Always want more, more, more dammit!
To be ganuranteed singlessness for an eternity you must never be happy with what you have. The grass IS ALWAYS greener on the other side. Attached women are always happier than their single friend counterparts. Your best friend’s boyfriend, was the perfect catch and all the other men are gay or taken. Whatever the current men in your dating life are doing its not enough. He is too skinny and his wallet isn’t fat enough. He is academically smart but so life stupid. You would love to meet his parents, but the mental institution only allows visits during times you are working. Lets face it, he slurps his soup funny.

You want the one guy you are dating to ask you to be his girlfriend. You want your boyfriend to ask you to marry you. You want your husband to want to have kids. You want your husband to put you before the kids. Etc, ect. Desperate housewives is based on real life stories.

You are strictly only to focus on the past and to daydream of the future. By no means are you allowed to enjoy the process of life now. You are not and I mean NOT to celebrate any benefits of being single, you are not to talk, speak or act upon urges of happiness or content.

Your aim for each day is to find as many things to complain about being single and under no circumstances should you ever be happy about it. You are to be miserable at all times and if you are not miserable then you are to be angry bitchy and PeeMmmSsssy.

You should only operate between these two emotions. Now following all 3 tips I can guarantee you will ensure your single status indefinitely.

Now don’t worry if you can’t get all 3 tips then mastering one of them to the best of your ability is more than enough. This will ensure that men run for the hills, faster than you can scream “why don’t you love me?!!?!”.

So for all those women that has mastered this art, welcome to the world of single hood. You are going to enjoy it for a very long time.

For all you other girls who only half ass this, then I’m sorry, singlehood for you just doesn’t look very bright.

Can’t win them all.

Sorry.

Hot Alpha Female

P.S (For those women who a really annoyed right now … this post was meant to be sarcastic =)

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A Sneak Preview of Paige Parker’s Dating Without Drama

Why Picky Women – Never Get Dates They Want

Yes. That’s right. You heard me. I did just say that.

Now for the women reading this who are getting a little infuriated at my title heading I urge you to stay with me and keep reading on …

Because you are the kind of woman, that needs help. Right now your probably thinking of 1000 reasons that completely justify your right to be picky, bitchy and a little hissy.

Think I’m wrong. Well let me just regurgitate a typical conversation I’ll have with a woman about men.

“There is no one out there that is worth dating”

“All the good looking men are gay or taken”

“All the guys that are interested in me, I’m not interested in them”

“Guys are really confusing”

“I really don’t understand men”

Ok so usually there are variations of these types of conversations, but most of them boil down to those 5 juicy ones I just shared with you.

Now what in the world does this have to do about women being picky or bitchy. Well the first thing that I want you to realize is the nature of these comments.

See how they are all blaming something or someone outside you own control. Its either the guy isn’t right, the situation isn’t right or the way someone likes you isn’t right.

Well let me just say, that nothing and I mean nothing in your dating world will change unless something about YOU changes first.

I know, I know. It sounds all cliché and relationship materially. But let me put it to you in layman’s terms.

Its not HIM. Its YOU.

Every single dating problem you have, is a result of you. You, you and only you. It’s a harsh truth I know. But it is also incredibly empowering. Because if it relies solely on you, then that means you are in full control of what happens from now on.

So if it is up to us, then what are some of the crucial lessons we have to learn. Well let me give you a head start.

Now just to mention that when I had this SIMPLE mindset shift, I went from dating no-one in particular to 4 new guys (3 of which I’m still seeing) and countless dates, in ONE single month. My dating life, magically transformed before my very eyes. And so now I want to share the same thing with you.

What was this simple mindset shift? Before I tell you, let me remind you, that it is the most “simple truths” we come across in our life that have the power to completely change it.

Well here it is, so make sure your reading carefully.

“Start to appreciate the guys that are currently in your life.”

That’s it.

Now for those women reading this who are profoundly disappointed with how simple this is, let me explain.

From all the “single” women that I meet, interview and socialize with – Every single one of them will have at LEAST one guy – who so badly wants to take them on a date and at the very least has a crush on them.

And from most of these single women – they have abruptly brushed them off to the side and are wondering when prince charming is heading around the corner.

Well wake up and smell the dead roses.