Another Jinxy and hub co-blog.

One of my favorite YouTuber’s, sxephil (who has new episodes weekly, Monday through Thursday), talked about something this week that really got me thinking.  Dangerous, I know!  Every year a certain college releases a study on cultural “touchstones” that effect college students in their lifetime.  The students entering college this year were born in 1992!  Few of them know how to write in cursive, food has always been irradiated, and it seems that the Post Office has always been going broke. 

I bet you’re wondering, so how does all that relate to the usual topics of this blog?  It sparked a discussion with hubby on how these young whippersnappers think.  How they aren’t as hindered by the way their parents think and feel.  They don’t use their parents past to pave an exact path for their future.  I have always thought a little differently than the rest of my family, even if I wasn’t as verbally expressive about it as I think I should have been.  Growing up in the Bible Belt, you’re expected to think and feel a certain way.  Growing up in the South means you are redneck and intolerant of interracial relationships and even homosexuality. 

The world is constantly changing, as is the way that people think.  It seems that the “younger generation” is much more open in their ways of thinking than their parents and the generations prior to them.  They aren’t as quick to condemn someone for being a little different.  Because of their openness and willingness to explore things different from them, some of the “older generations” are starting to adopt that line of thinking and not be too quick to judge.   Some of the lifestyle choices that were frowned upon not even 20 years ago are so widely accepted now, no one gives them a second thought.   I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said “A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it isn’t open”.  Bumper sticker wisdom aside, it’s still true and more and more people are open minded not because they were taught to be, it’s just they never thought about being anything else.

I know I talk a lot about open mindedness but I think it’s an issue that can use as much publicity as possible. The world is so full of intolerance towards things that really don’t matter that much. Look at prop 8, Homosexuals wanted the right to get married, to be able to show their love for one another in a bond, get insurance breaks, have the next of kin they picked, enjoy a ceremony that probably costs way too much, get joint checking accounts, and for that matter make sure they get half on the off-chance the other person runs away with the UPS guy/girl. They weren’t asking for the right to go to your kid’s high school and attempt to convert them. The point is, what doesn’t hurt you – well, doesn’t hurt you. Everything happens a lot slower than you realize while you’re living it, but when you look back it really didn’t take that long. We have a black President. You can say almost anything short of the word “fuck” on television, and for that matter there’s almost any form of undress short of actual nudity. In most places interracial couples go about their business and no one cares or gives them a second look. That’s not to say that the world doesn’t have its share of prudes; there are still those so offended by nudity they feel they should impose their views on everyone because their way of thinking is the only right way. This is how it will always be; it’s their right to have those views. That doesn’t mean the rest of us should give up on how we feel.

Marriages are different now as well.  You rarely heard of swingers when I was growing up, and when you did it was in a negative light.  Now, I know quite a few of them, even ones I didn’t suspect were kinky! These days younger couples are more experienced with their sexuality and men and women alike are more open to try to push the limit of their sexual comfort zones, whether it be swinging, threesomes, cuckolding, role playing, and even homoeroticism. What can we all learn from this generation? (A generation that I should add is still producing lawyers, doctors, nurses, accountants, politicians, solders, business men and women, teachers, etc.) Just because these people have a different view on sex doesn’t mean their morals are corrupt or that they don’t have the ability to lead a company, or help others in need.

Sexuality has been a touchy subject for thousands of years; horny women were thought to be hysterical in Victorian times. During these times women cuckolded their husbands with their doctors, who would provide them with “medically” induced orgasms to “treat” them. Why did they? The same reason women still do today, because their husbands were either always busy, they weren’t able to satisfy them, or they wanted a little variety without the guilt.  

So let’s all do something, I know I don’t usually ask for reader response and I am curious as to how much I will actually get. I know I have lots of readers that aren’t necessarily into the cuckolding world, but are into some type of kink or fascinated with their sexual limits.

How is your life better or just different since you made the decision to let go of your sexual inhibitions? If you would please let me know your age range (in groups of 18-25, 26-25, 35-50, or 50 plus), your gender, and a little about yourself and your sexual lifestyle.

Rockin’ and Rollin’ and whatnot…

Hey guys. How’s it going?

Wait, this doesn’t seem like a typical Jinxy blog! You’re probably saying to yourself… and you’re right.  I just wanted to take a second and talk to you all.  While these blogs are informative and discussing things that are on my mind, sometimes they feel impersonal.  More “teaching and discussion” and less “what’s going on in my life”.  It’s time to throw one of those in the mix.

I’m sure you can tell from the obvious slow-down in updates I’m having a really busy summer.  Not filled with exotic vacations or a hoppin’ social schedule.  Just trying to work hard and keep things low-key around here.  We have big plans for the next few months and I want to do everything I can to ensure it will be successful.  It’s something we’ve wanted for a long time, and we’re so close to making it reality.  Nothing will get in the way!!!  I also reconnected with an old friend this summer.  Kind of funny, actually, we’ve been living in the same town for 2+ years and just found each other again last week.  I get a little teary when I think about how close we used to be (best friends from 4th  grade through high school, and for a while after) and then we just dropped out of each other’s lives.  She accepts and understands who I am, and she’s happy that I’m so happy with my life.  THAT is the type of friend we need in our lives.

It hasn’t all been chocolates and roses though.  There have been family members with health issues or conditions that need(ed) addressing.  There’s the balancing act of keeping everyone happy while at the same time making sure everything is properly taken care of.  And then there’s the laundry! But that’s part of life (the downside, not necessarily the laundry)… we deal with the good and the bad simultaneously.  We can’t pick and choose – well, unless we’re in some sort of denial about our lives. 

I believe I lead a pretty awesome life.  I’m very lucky to be where I am, and even more lucky to have the best husband in the world that I love to pieces.  I have some amazing friends that’d drop everything to help me out (lookin’ at you, KC!).  I am very lucky.

Enough babble from me.  REAL interesting blog coming next week.

Toodles!

A guide for hotwives – some general advice from Jinxypie

“Where can I meet a hotwife like you?” “ How do I know if a lady is approachable?” “ How can I let guys know I’m open for flirting and more?”   I hear questions like this all the time, from both men looking for a hotwife and from the ladies trying to get “out there” and find her bulls. 

Something many people in the “know” of the cuckolding lifestyle will look for is, simply, an anklet on the woman’s right ankle.  This is supposed to signify that a woman is open to being approached about sexual encounters.  Something I have to stress to people is, anklets are a fairly popular jewelry choice in recent times.  One shouldn’t judge a  woman to be a hotwife on anklet alone!  Many women wear them because they’re pretty, not because they are even aware of what a hotwife is.  Men need to look for other clues and cues before proceeding.

What else can you do to signal to guys that you are looking for a fun time?  Confidence.  Flirty attitude.  Eye contact.  Body language.  MANY things can signal that you’re fun and open to new encounters.  I personally believe that eye contact and body language are the major ones, followed by confidence and being flirty.  If you’re out – either alone or with a group of friends – at a bar or club, you don’t want to be standing against the wall sipping a drink and hiding your face from everyone.  Guys generally don’t pick those ladies to chat with because it seems she doesn’t want to be there anyway.  If you do happen to be standing against the wall, why not sway with the music?  Look around and smile at the guys?  Don’t cross your arms, but dance a little bit?  Or walk around the room making eye contact and saying hello.  You never know what guy will stop you and start a great conversation.  Many of us think we lack the confidence or ability to flirt, but there’s always the old saying “fake it until you make it”… be in character, pretend you’re the hottest woman in the room!   

That all sounds like general advice, and it practically is.  But you’d be surprised how many hotwives or cuckoldresses don’t really understand how to work the bar or club scene!  We find our men in the most random places, or online, because it’s easier to have men coming to us than it is to have to put ourselves out there and face rejection.  If we keep putting ourselves in the same types of situations, we’re bound to find the same types of men.  (Same for you guys, if you keep looking for women in the same places, how do you expect to find a different type of woman?)  It’s best to put yourself out there in other ways, go to bars or clubs occasionally, or try a new dating website.  You never know what types of people you can come across until you make yourself available to them in that manner.

Ladies, if you’ve been on dating websites for any length of time you’ll find out that there are a TON of men that are all talk and no action.  There are men in real life that are the same way… big talkers, but that’s about it.  When it comes to getting with a woman they’re clueless.  How do you spot them and distinguish between the fakers and the real genuine guys?  From my experience, the fakers tend to be the quickest to claim they have “exactly what you’re looking for” or “the biggest and the best”.  I’ve heard a lot of “Come on over here baby, let me give you what I’ve got!  You won’t need to look anywhere else.”  They’re also the ones that don’t want to commit to an actual date or time to meet up.  Then you have guys that will commit to a date, only to reschedule on you three or four times.  Usually with me, they get three strikes.  Not only when it comes to rescheduling, I factor in EVERYTHING.  Did they send the info or pictures I asked for? Are they decent at replying to my emails thoroughly? And yes, I even evaluate on grammar at times.  Oddly enough, the guys that start off sensibly with their name (real or fake, you never know) and telling you a little about themselves tend to be the guys that are more serious, more genuine.  Sure, it may not always work out with them, but at least you can both go your separate ways knowing there are others dealing with the same struggles as yourself. 

I know that a lot of this suggests pushing people outside of their comfort zones, and I would never recommend pushing yourself so far past your limits that you’re upset or scared or possibly can’t come back from.  Testing the lines, your self-imposed limits can be fun, especially if you know ahead of time exactly what you’d like to experience.  Ever told yourself you don’t want to be with a person more than 10 years older than you?  What happens when the hot guy you’re chatting up happens to be 12 years your senior?  Would you completely blow it off because he passed that imaginary line you drew?  Doubtful… you’d probably still pursue it.  But if the guy was 22 years older than you?  That may be when you’d enforce your own rules.   Or if you tell yourself you won’t be having sex with a group of people, but you end up getting cozy with 2 folks at the same time… would you stop? Or would you go forward with the threesome?  That’s up to you, your comfort levels, and the rules you want to enforce.  Just know what your limits are, what you absolutely will draw the line at.  If necessary, discuss those lines and limits with any friends or partners so they can help you to stay true to them.  Don’t ever go further than you’re willing to. 

Ladies, if you’re trying to find more partners and make yourself more approachable as a hotwife, you may want to consider getting an anklet to wear!  Then of course, being more flirty and confident as you are in situations around guys you may desire.  Know what to look for in terms of being ‘all talk’ and know what you’re not willing to go through just for a fun encounter.   It’s all about YOUR fun, after all!

The end of fetish month – Denial and Chastity

(Yes, I know this is late… cut me some slack!)

Imagine, having the most insane amount of horniness, and not being able to get off.  Sounds horrible, right?  I know for me, I can’t stand much teasing and foreplay before I just want to get right to it!  But for some people, being denied and forced into an aroused state is much more exciting than actual acts of sex or even orgasm. 

Denial comes in many forms, but is basically grouped in a “short term” or “long term” category.   Most of the popular fetishes are related to short term denial.  Long term denial can supposedly have a term limit of “indefinite” but people who go that route usually incorporate prostate milking into their activities.  Many folks choose to play with short term denial (and that term is relative to the person – 3 weeks may seem like an eternity to some but may be incredibly short to others), due to the fact that prostate milking takes practice and is sometimes a lengthy process. Some people would rather not fool with it, so they just let their cuck out weekly or every few weeks so he can masturbate, then get back in his chastity.  Personally, I love playing with this fetish.  It’s a total feeling of control and power when you can tell your cuck is aching for release and you can deny him, or let him have his orgasm.  The cuck feels an overwhelming sense of submissiveness at that point, because he practically had to beg for what he wanted.  He isn’t going to dare to do this on his own, he will be given permission from his beautiful lady first.  In getting what he wants, he may have the feelings of dread, wondering when she’ll be giving enough to let him cum again…

In cuckolding, many cucks are denied just on principle.  After all, their woman is having sex with other men, so she’s not keeping her pussy only for him.  Why would they be allowed access to the same things they had in a “standard” relationship?  The WOMAN is in charge, little cucky can do as he’s told and only hope to catch a glimpse of his lady in the nude!  Not being able to see his wife or girlfriend naked, or obviously not being allowed to have penetrative sex with her happen to be two popular forms of denial, that I personally use.  It’s such a fun game to Cuckoldresses, we can tease and taunt our cucks with just the hint of skin, or lay in bed stark naked and have hubby or boyfriend know he can only wish to be inside of you!  If hands start to roam we can always threaten to put some clothes on (ha!).  But above all else, I believe the most popular type of denial all-around is chastity.

There are so many different types of chastity belts and devices on the market.  Before buying one, some real research needs to be done.  We have purchased a few different kinds, but none of them are very good at keeping him locked up.  Most end up being too large or not made to be tight enough, and he can slip out.  Frustrating, but sometimes you have to try and fail to know what works.  I always read reviews and try to find people that have used the same products so I can get honest feedback on those types of items.  Of those we did try, one was an actual leather belt type that I absolutely did not like, but the rest were the CB types… CB-3000 I think?  Still, not enough to keep him locked away, he could get out of the back of it.  We had talked about buying the points of intrigue (I believe they are called) to prevent this, but that just kind of fell to the wayside.  Maybe we’ll play around with chastity again in the future.

If a guy is locked in chastity, then he’s (obviously) unable to masturbate.  In many cases, they’re also unable to get very hard due to the device they’re wearing.  How humiliating must that be?  So aroused but scared to get very excited because of the pain they expect to feel if they do.  Makes you feel like less of a man, right?  What if your lady makes you wear the device 24 hours a day, 7 days a week?  You’re NEVER allowed a second for release!  What if you needed to go see your doctor and she forgot to unlock you?  What if you were ‘figured out’ at work?  How exciting and scary would that be?    

Men also really enjoy having the ability to get off at a moment’s notice.  Taking that away from them by putting them in chastity is quite the dominant act.  They get it in their heads the idea of pleasing their lady in hopes she’ll show mercy and unlock the chastity long enough for them to take care of business.  They become quite submissive at that point!  Think you have him wrapped around your finger now?  Ladies, you have no idea the things he’d be willing to do!  Wear lingerie – clean the house – watch the children so you can have a night out of the house – buy you that cute outfit you’ve had your eye on AND the matching shoes and purse.  Now, I’m not saying that to degrade men or to tell ladies ‘here’s the secret of getting what you want!’… this is more of a realization.  You find something they want worse than air.  Take it away.  The possibilities are near endless of what he’d be willing to do for just 20 seconds of touching his cock.  I know my husband has done many things, just to get the chance to masturbate, and sometimes so I would talk to him while he jerks off.  Sometimes getting caught up in fantasy land (mental images) is much hotter than anything we could go through in actuality.  I’m not the only woman that’s experienced the benefits – I’ve had quite a few ladies email with their stories.  Many (if not all) of them would honestly admit to never realizing how much fun they could have by denying their man of their body, or HIS body. 

Chastity isn’t just for cuckolding couples.  I’ve spoken to a few different men about their desire to be put in chastity, with different responses from each guy.  One guy is voluntarily locked up because his wife wants to make sure he never develops a masturbation problem.  No plans to enter the cuckolding lifestyle, this is all about calming her fears and for him, enjoying the time in chastity.  Very noble of him, I think.  Another husband plans to introduce his woman to the idea of cuckolding by first introducing her to chastity.  Once she gets used to the idea of having her pleasure (through toys, etc) while he has none, she may be more open to the idea of cuckolding.  I think this is a very smart way to play it, helping her to wrap her head around the thoughts of being with others while her hubby gets none.  See?  Chastity isn’t only for us freaky people! Couples are looking to enhance and better their marriages with this fetish, in their own way.